laced

by Brooke Walker

there’s a part of me that’s glad

it was probably my ten dollars.

i suspected

they were spending it on escape,

just, not the “hard stuff.”

cash app roulette:

we hit the hot spot.

i want to say i wasn’t gambling,

but maybe i was.

i never asked,

but,

i figured.

i had no desire

to monitor their vices.

and i knew

as the self-proclaimed

“narcan cowboy,”

they knew the risk.

it didn’t feel like my business,

where the money went.

they were my best friend,

and i trusted them.

so i don’t blame myself

for their breaking that trust.

and i don’t blame myself

for the chances they took.

and i don’t blame myself

for the way they spent that money.

but someone else

might blame themselves.

so i’m glad it was my ten dollars.

About the Author

Brooke Walker is a queer disabled poet and artist from rural Pennsylvania. They work with themes of death and grief, love and healing, and spirituality through nature. They also work as a public speaker sharing their story of mental health recovery in schools. brookeewalker.substack.com; Brooke Walker Botanicals (Facebook and Instagram)